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Dumbass Of The Day: He Loves The Great Outdoors A Bit Too Much

By News Nov 23, 2020 | 11:00 AM

I am sure you have heard of “Tree Huggers”, right?

Well, this guy gives a new meaning to the term. As a matter of fact, the Naugatuck, CT police report says that John Fignar was arrested for having his way with a tree…to quote the police report, John was “humping” the tree. It goes on to say that not only was he giving wood to the wood, he was also eating the branches of the tree. But when long arm of law arrived, John Fignar took off running with his pants around ankles, which didn’t allow him to get very far, but he was able to manuever well enough to get into a house and kick out the people who lived there.

We know how this ends with an arrest, but oddly enough the list of charges John is getting include:

“felony assault of a public safety officer and misdemeanor resisting arrest, breach of peace and trespassing.”

Interestingly, nothing about indecent exposure or anything that SVU would investigate.

The tree’s name has been with held, to protect the innocent.