Dumbass Of The Day: Ranch Dressing Larceny

Dumbass Of The Day: Ranch Dressing Larceny

This has to be one of the most bizarre stories I’ve seen in a while. (This actually is more bizarre than Jeffrey Toobin masturbating on a Zoom camera during a meeting, and that was pretty fucken bizarre.)

Last week a teenager in rural Topeka, Kansas made quite the scene. Follow me on this, he:

  •   Started causing a disturbance and tearing up the inside of a convenience store
  •  He was high on meth and naked
  •  Soaked himself in ranch dressing
  •  Ran outside and jumped into a idling car
  •  Tried to take off but ran into a pillar next to the gas pumps.

 

If it gives you any indication the local newspaper have these as recommended stories when I was reading about out ranch covered, naked, car jacker.